What is Your Love Language?

For a relationship to work, it is vital to understand your spouse’s love language and your own. Many marriages break down due to lack of understanding and communication. Many couples do not share the same love language resulting in misunderstanding, quarrels and happiness. I first learnt about the five love languages through reading Gary Chapman’s book and it has helped me to strengthen my marriage with my husband.

A successful relationship requires communication. It is vital to know your partner’s love language and learn how to speak it. Once you have identified your partner's love language and learnt how to speak it, you’re on your way to a successful, fulfilling and loving marriage.\

Here are the five love languages:

Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If your partner’s love language is Words of affirmation, compliments mean a great deal to him/her. Words of encouragement, praise and appreciation help to communicate love. Be open in your expression of love. Endearing words such as “I Love You” can do wonders for a relationship. If this is your partner’s love language, make it a point, to compliment him/ her at least once a day. My husband’s love language is Words of Affirmation. To get him to do things for me, all I need to do is to shower him with encouraging words and praises.

Acts of Service

Can doing housework be an expression of love? Absolutely. This is my love language. I feel loved when my husband runs errands for me, washes the dishes, fixes my computer or sends me to work. To me, acts of service are more important than any gift. Laziness, broken promises and a husband’s failure to alleviate his wife’s burden are often the factors that lead to a failed relationship. If this is your partner’s love language, the magic words are “Let me do it for you.”

Gift

In all cultures, giving gifts is one of the fundamental and universal expressions of love. The receiver of the gift thrives on the love, sincerity and effort behind the gift. A self-made card, a sketch of your partner or self-penned poem are special gifts. The gift does not have to be expensive, however, it has to be meaningful. Do not buy a gift just for the sake of buying one. Observe your partner and you will slowly find out what he/ she likes. There is nothing more disastrous than to give a shoddy gift that is bought in a hurry. Gifts are my second love language. I love it when my husband composes a poem or makes a card for me. If this is your partner’s love language, remember to give a gift at least once a month.

Quality Time

If this is your partner’s love language, nothing means more than giving undivided attention. Switch off the television, radio or the mobile and focus on your partner. Distractions, postponed dates or the failure to listen can be detrimental to a relationship.

Physical Touch

This love language isn’t confined to the bedroom. Holding hands, hugs, peck on the cheek, massages and other thoughtful touches help to add a spark to the relationship. However, this is not as simple as it seems. Not everyone likes the same kinds of touches. Some like to be hugged while others like to be kissed. We must not force our love language on others. If your partner does not like the way you touch him/ her, back off and find the kind of touch that your partner likes. The setting is also important. Some may not like the idea of hugging and kissing in a crowded mall. The key is to find out what your partner likes and learn to speak his love language.

Understanding your own love language is also crucial. In this way, you can communicate with your partner what you really want. Be as open and honest as possible. This will help you to build a better relationship with your partner.

To understand your love language, you can take this test online.

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/